The problem of the super-successful.

This happened nearly 15 years ago. I had an appointment with someone super-successful at their office located in one of those big towers at Cuffe Parade in Mumbai.

The moment I entered the cabin, I was left awestruck. The cabin had a huge glass wall at the back, which presented a never-seen-again view of the entire iconic Marine Drive, starting from NCPA to right upto the Governor House at the Malabar Hill.

My visit happened somewhere close to the Navy Day and hence, seemingly in line with the ongoing preparations, the moment I entered the room, an Indian Navy helicopter flew past the glass wall.

Dug... Dug... Dug... Dug... Dug... Dug... Dug... Dug... 

It was so close and so clear that I could see the faces of the men in the uniform who were riding the chopper, in the backdrop of the clear sky and the blue sea underneath.

"Wow! What a view!"

Somehow, I couldn't help, not allowing these words to pop out of my mouth. 

"Who the bloody hell has the time to look at the view?"

An angry voice of the occupant of that corner chamber immediately broke my slumber.

Those words brought me back into my reality and although, I couldn't understand why that super-successful person should be so pissed-off on that wonderful morning, nevertheless, "I don't want to be like this guy!" Somehow, that was what I told myself at that point, even when I had little clue, who or what I may want to be like?

Anyways... 

A few months later, as part of my official duty, I was standing in the middle of the road, well suited-booted and then, I spotted an elderly couple a few yards away from me, dragging a little luggage and a golf kit with them. They seemed searching for their car or the driver. Surely, they were looking a little anxious.

Knowing that I may never get this opportunity ever again, I moved forward, took the risk and struck a conversation. 

"Sir, I want to shake hands with you and seek your blessings." I spoke, "your story has been an amazing inspiration for us, even though, we were born much after you retired from your field of action."

The man's previously anxious face changed immediately. A big smile appeared instead. His hand came up and instantly began patting my shoulder and he said in a joyful voice:

"Jeete Raho Puttar!"

I bowed to his wife and she too stood pleased, smiling, forgetting her anxiety of not being able to locate the missing vehicle and while all this was happening, we were still standing in the middle of the road, under the scorching sun. 

This person was none other than, one and the only, Late Sardar Milkha Singh - The Flying Sikh - The Legend - the only Indian to have proudly held a world record in Athletics!

His voice and his words, still ring in my ears. That hand on my shoulder, I can still feel very much.

Priceless! Unforgettable! Divine!

"This is how one should be," that day, I clearly understood. 

The question here is - why this huge difference in the behavior of two super-successful people?

- Professionally successful and personally agitated.
- Professionally successful and personally distressed. 
- Professionally successful and personally disillusioned. 
- Professionally successful and personally exhausted.
- Professionally successful and personally unhappy.

Why???

It is well known that after retiring from athletics, Late Sardar Milkha Singh took passionately to Golf. His son Jeev Milkha Singh has been a professional golfer of international fame.

Therefore, let's understand this puzzle with the help of golf, a game that is widely perceived to be a game for/of the super-successful. 

There can be 5 levels in golf:

1. Some people would never know golf or won't be able to understand it ever.

2. Others may know golf, may be able to understand it as well, however won't play the game for one reason or the other.

3. Yet, some may thoroughly love playing golf.

4. Still further, a few may go even another step ahead with golf - for example, use golf as a networking platform for business or earn a livelihood through some activity associated with golf, etc.

5. Finally, someone may actually end-up inspiring someone else to turn a pro, while playing the same game of golf, as possibly Sardar Milkha Singh must have done with Jeev Milkha Singh, his son. Besides, also inspiring complete strangers such as myself to seek my own truth.

What is the differentiating factor at each of these five levels?

Interestingly, over the last two write-ups on this blog, we have been discussing Maslow's heirarchy of needs.

Let's revisit the same theory once again.

Therefore, the person at level 1 shall be concerned only with their basic needs. Hence, golf won't feature in their list of priorities.

At level 2, there shall be awareness of golf, however, it shall be considered a waste of time or something simply inaccessible. 

At level 3, you shall have both the time and the enthusiasm for the game. You would love the game for yourself.

At level 4, this love shall go one step further and it shall start touching your life in multiple ways. 

Actually, these two levels, that is, level 3 and level 4, are excellent in themselves, however, the only problem here is that sooner or later you shall start experiencing the law of diminishing marginal utility, which is a popular theory of Economics.

Thus, each additional experience of the game, at some point, shall start bringing lesser joy, and this way, you shall start feeling either bored or disillusioned or exhausted of the game.

The same problem happens in life.

Once we have done something over and over, then that activity gradually starts losing its charm for us. It becomes monotonous, routine, uninteresting. 

It is from this boredom or disinterest that the personal frustration or anger comes.

Therefore anyone getting stuck at level 4 is bound to feel directionless sooner or later, no matter even if professionally super-successful. 

Similar frustration or dissatisfaction shall be witnessed by people stuck at lower levels as well, even when they shall not be professionally as successful. 

No... no... no... I am not offering this theory on my own.

Instead, this comes from the father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud himself.

Sigmund Freud, in his super-famous and often much debated and disputed theory of psychosexual stages of development states that each stage of human development is marked by conflicts.

The way conflicts are resolved, shapes the personality of the individual.

Therefore, if conflicts are resolved through healthy resolutions, then one has a healthy personality.

However, if conflicts are not resolved suitably, then a FIXATION may occur in the personality.

The individual shall start feeling stuck!

Very, interestingly, even the most staunch critics of Sigmund Freud, till date, haven't been able to negate this truth that FIXATION does happen in a personality. 

Thus, while they may criticize several other aspects of Freudian psychology, yet, they all seem to agree with the concept of FIXATION that Freud spoke about.

Further, equally interestingly, even in the science of spirituality, we find mention of this very same confusion, impurity or pain.

(Once again, as mentioned in pervious write-up Ref: Bhagavad Gita 2.7)

In literature of Vedanta, this problem is often referred to as the original confusion, the original impurity or the original pain.

(Deepest Gratitude: Swami Bhaswatananda, Vedanta Gesellschaft, Germany 🙏🙏🙏)

This is the pain or problem that stops us from finding our serenity, our redemption or our fulfillment.

In other words, it keeps us stuck at level 4 of the Maslow's pyramid, not allowing us to go higher and experience our freedom, our peace, our tranquility, at level 5 - the level of self-actualization. 

Natural question at this point: How to resolve this FIXATION?

Let's take help from Sardar Milkha Singh once again. We all have seen the 2013 Bollywood movie on his life "Bhag Milkha Bhag".

Partition of India in 1947 destroyed Milkha Singh's childhood. He was left with no food. No home. No family. (Level 1)

As a youth growing up in post-independence Delhi, though he could somehow manage his basic needs, got emotional support from his elder sister, but otherwise had no security or direction in life. (Level 2)

Then by some chance, he joined Indian Army and got discovered as an athlete. That moment changed his life. He realized that running was the love of his life. (Level 3)

Now, though Milkha Singh loved running, however, still he had to face several challenges to become a world record holder. Finally, missed winning the medal at the Olympics by a wishker. This, for a man who lost merely 3 races in his entire career. It was extremely frustrating. Further, to add insult to the injury, he was asked to visit Pakistan to participate in an athletics competition, a place from where originated all his painful memories. (Level 4)

Thankfully, Milkha Singh kept his sanity. Besides, his coaches supported him in every manner possible, even going out of their way and knocking on the doors of the Prime Minister of the country. Anyhow, eventually, Milkha landed in Pakistan - his old home, yet now an alien country. He revisited his village. Cried... cried... cried... and then the miracle happened. He got to meet his childhood friend, who he thought was long dead. Next day, Milkha Singh ran the last race of his life and the way he ran that race, even Pakistan couldn't hold back in conferring him with the title of "The Flying Sikh." 

In process, Sardar Milkha Singh found his Level 5. 😊🙏

In 1987, Maslow's heirrachy of needs model was expanded by the scientists to explain this level 5 in much greater detail. 

The scientists added 3 new tiers, two below and one above self-actualization. This way, they defined this level 5 in 4 tiers:

D - Cognitive needs (primary level)

C - Aesthetic needs

B - Self-Actualization

A - Transcendence (highest level)

Basically, Level 5 is a spiritual journey, which culminates in Transcendence. For people such as Swami Vivekanada or Meera Bai, transcendence was a reality.

Nevertheless, anyone crossing the level 4 barrier and entering this level 5 zone, shall automatically find tranquility flowing in their life.

Moreover, they shall end up living a truly meaningful, fulfilling and happy life.

Kindness shall flow naturally through them.

This is actually a very big subject and we shall keep discussing it in our forthcoming write-ups.

Nevertheless... to summarize here... one must always remember that... 

3 things help you to find your level 5:

1. Experiences and situations of your own life.

2. Rightful coaches, teachers or Training.

3. Your own honest and disciplined self-effort.

(Ref: once again, as was in previous write-up: Patanjali Yogasutra 2.1)

Finally, choice of good and healthy personal habits let you cover this journey sooner than later.

Besides, this journey is not merely for those who may be professionally super-successful,  instead this trajectory can be adopted by anyone to experience their eternal freedom irrespective of the level of their professional success.

Lastly...

Yesterday, I came across a tweet. A TV personality wrote about a friend, who was a noted professor with a reputed university, seemingly an extremely lively person, yet somehow had very unfortunately chosen to end his life.

Indeed extremely sad! Deepest condolences.

Nevertheless, one request... no matter what be the problem in your life, don't take that extreme step. 

Trust the spiritual path instead. 

Find a suitable teacher. 

There are brilliant ones all over the country / world. 

Understand scriptures such as Bhagavad Gita.

Practice Meditation and experience how quickly and smoothly things can change.

Further, anyone needing support in the matter is most welcome to directly contact this Meditation Teacher. And kindly don't treat this as an advertisement. I teach because my distinguished teacher asked me to undertake this work. 🙏